Aminet 34/Aminet 34 (2000)(Schatztruhe)[!][Dec 1999].iso/Aminet/comm/irc/cybershiela.lha/cs/bumperstickers.amirx

Text File | 1999-07-05 | 5KB | 71 lines

/* Quote File Auto Converted to Arexx by Zonkerz */
xx=random(1,64,time('s'))
select
when xx=1 then a="'I love cats...they taste just like chicken'"
when xx=2 then a="'Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.'"
when xx=3 then a="'Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician'"
when xx=4 then a="'I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather, Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.'"
when xx=5 then a="'Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!'"
when xx=6 then a="'If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?'"
when xx=7 then a="'Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!'"
when xx=8 then a="'He who laughs last thinks slowest'"
when xx=9 then a="'Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.'"
when xx=10 then a="'i souport publik edekasion'"
when xx=11 then a="'We are Microsoft.  Resistance Is Futile.  You Will Be Assimilated.'"
when xx=12 then a="'Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?'"
when xx=13 then a="'Auntie Em:  Hate you, Hate Kansas, Taking the dog.  -Dorothy.'"
when xx=14 then a="'All generalizations are false.'"
when xx=15 then a="'Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.'"
when xx=16 then a="'Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.'"
when xx=17 then a="'Out of my mind.  Back in five minutes.'"
when xx=18 then a="'Seen on an old, beat-up car: 'This is not an abandoned vehicle.'"
when xx=19 then a="'Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death'"
when xx=20 then a="'Cover me.  I'm changing lanes.'"
when xx=21 then a="'As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools'"
when xx=22 then a="'The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.'"
when xx=23 then a="'Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep'"
when xx=24 then a="'All men are Idiots, and I married their King!'"
when xx=25 then a="'Work is for people who don't know how to fish'"
when xx=26 then a="'Montana --- At least our cows are sane!'"
when xx=27 then a="'I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.'"
when xx=28 then a="'Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.'"
when xx=29 then a="'It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.'"
when xx=30 then a="'If you don't like the news, go out and make some.'"
when xx=31 then a="'I Brake For No Apparent Reason.'"
when xx=32 then a="'When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.'"
when xx=33 then a="'Sorry, I don't date outside my species.'"
when xx=34 then a="'I may be fat, but you're ugly - I can lose weight!'"
when xx=35 then a="'No Radio - Already Stolen'"
when xx=36 then a="'Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.'"
when xx=37 then a="'I took an IQ test and the results were negative.'"
when xx=38 then a="'When there's a will, I want to be in it!'"
when xx=39 then a="'Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?'"
when xx=40 then a="'Few women admit their age, Few men act it! '"
when xx=41 then a="'I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!'"
when xx=42 then a="'Hard work has a future payoff.  Laziness pays off NOW!'"
when xx=43 then a="'Tell me to 'Stuff It' - I'm a taxidermist.'"
when xx=44 then a="'IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you have got. '"
when xx=45 then a="'Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it's students!'"
when xx=46 then a="'It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.'"
when xx=47 then a="'According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.'"
when xx=48 then a="'Pride is what we have.  Vanity is what others have.'"
when xx=49 then a="'A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.'"
when xx=50 then a="'How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?' Seen on a woman's car: 'Men call us birds, we pick up worms'"
when xx=51 then a="'Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.'"
when xx=52 then a="'Give me ambiguity or give me something else.'"
when xx=53 then a="'We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?'"
when xx=54 then a="'Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.'"
when xx=55 then a="'Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.'"
when xx=56 then a="'Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.'"
when xx=57 then a="'Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.'"
when xx=58 then a="'Be nice to your kids.  They'll choose your nursing home.'"
when xx=59 then a="'Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?'"
when xx=60 then a="'Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.'"
when xx=61 then a="'I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic particles.'"
when xx=62 then a="'I are a college student.'"
when xx=63 then a="'Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.'"
when xx=64 then a="'I'm out of bed and dressed, What more do you want?'"
end
'say 8,2 Bumper Stickers:2 3'A
exit